September felt alive and calm, with a jazz trio in our Garden Park Ward with Don Thorpe, church on Sundays, Milo's school moments with his awesome grandes and friends, and finally cozy cookbook nights with my girlfriends.
It was Chloes's 10th birthday! My little girl is a decades old. I took her to her favorite place which is Target to get a puppyccino and get all the attention she deserves. Afterwards, we went to Liberty Park and had one on one time with her.
Mario was having such a wonderful time at the MTC. He was enjoying every moment, making new friends, and creating beautiful memories. The last photos capture Jared and me dropping Mario off at the MTC, a special milestones for our family, as well as Jared's new home and garage.
After our divorce, I helped Jared with $53,000 toward the purchase of a new garage for his home, which did not include one. I am grateful that I was in a position to help. Despite the changes in our lives, we will always be family, and I hope we can continue to support one another in our own ways as we navigate this new chapter.
Back in the Game
I had shared quite a bit about my life, so dating became an interesting and important part of our journey as a newly divorced woman. Jared had actually introduced me to the dating app Mutual. He was using it to meet people and, apparently, having some descent luck.
Little did I know that I would become quite the popular girl on the app!I was getting around 300 messages. Who knew I was such a hot tamale? jajaja! I also thought it was funny that Jared encouraged me to date, hoping I would eventually find someone and get married again soon and stop paying spousal support. Well, I certainly gave dating a try! I went on so many dates during those first few months that I was completely exhausted. I went on 39 dates! They like me but I didn't like them after 10 minutes and them Boom! Enter my first post-divorce romance:
He was funny, kind, handsome, gorgeous hair, awesome body, and definitely a little unexpected. lets just say I am 12 years his senior. He was also incredible handy. He would come over to my house and fix things, which lets be honest. He also had a great college education which is a very attractive quality when you are a woman navigating a new chapter of independence. Mario and Milo knew his name, but I never had them spend time with him. I have always believed that introducing someone into your children's lives is a serious step. You don't do that unless you are truly certain this person could become your husband. My boys deserved that level of certainty and stability. At the time, I wasn't dating with any serious purpose. I was enjoying myself, and having a lot of fun. I was probably the one full of red flags! we wanted different things out of life. He was an old soul, and I was still figuring who I wanted to be in this exciting new chapter. But here the plot twist: when things ended ( I kept breaking up for not reason) I cried more than I did during my actual divorce. jajaja. I supposed the heartdoesnt always follow logic. Maybe it wasn't just about him. Maybe it was about everything he represented: my first experience of falling for someone again, feeling desired, being vulnerable, and realized that I could still love deeply. Also, you don't marry the first person you date after your divorce. It is sad.
I work out a lot and spend a lot of time with my dogs. I took Milo to the 9th and 9th festival in Salt Lake City. We also went to get a store that sells hot chocolate from different parts of the world. Milo was also giving a talk at church. I went with a friend to a Jazz club and had great food and a mocktail. I can finally go to those places and enjoy myself. I personally don't drink because I am too vain. Alcohol destroys the skin collagen and I spent way too much money on me to ruin my body with that.
I helped my friend Tia Harrison and other moms to set up a luncheon for teachers at East high School. I am glad that I get invited to help with all the moms. It is so rewarding. Milo was teaching me to skateboard. I also went by myself to the Maven district festival and found a vintage soda fountain!!!! Bubblydrink.com
Milo and his girlfriend Ailin went to homecoming dance!
Some random photos from my outfits for church. Japanese food, the doggo, and my friend Felipe took me out to celebrate my early birthday. Felipe used to work with my at the Inclusion Center of community and Justice many years back and have always kept in contact.
For my 42th birthday, I decided to leave for the Dominican Republic. No one made any plans to celebrate with me in Utah besides my friend Felipe. A few photos of me after arriving from the airport. Overpriced food and mocktails.
I love going to the beach and not moved for 8 hours. I also got a medical procedure done as a birthday present for myself. This is my doctor Mirian Luciano and her assistant. I also got invited on many dates. I went dancing with three times with a 28 year old who lived in my apartment building. He couldn't believe I was 42 years old. It was a great ego buster.
Another beach club: I met this French guy and he was so fun! He is an HR executive for a conglomerate in Paris, France. He speaks 4 languages and He thought I was poor... so I let him pay for everything. He took me out for a dinner and cancel his vacation to stay in Boca Chica to hang out with me, I didn't know. He told me later. It was very flattering. The next day, I went to get my procedure done and I was out of order for two-three days. That is a morphine pump to keep me happy.
The French guy showed up in my apartment on my birthday and pretty much told me to get ready to celebrate my birthday with him. I wasn't planning on doing anything. I was sleeping with prince morphine. I got another massage at the beach from Rose and later dinner at an Italian restaurant. I invited him to a get together my friends planned for me for Friday. The photos say the 8th but it was everything was on the 7th. I just posted the photos on the 8th.
I thought we'd spend my birthday together as a family, but instead I was left waiting at theariport. I was recovering and could barely walk. There were not birthday plans for me, just small, thoughtless gestures, and even then, I still hoped we'd be together as a family. In the end, I realized not everyone sees family the same way anymore. I chose not to lash out, but to keep moving forward, even though it hurt. I took Milo for dinner the next day and a friend took me to eat a very beautiful nice restaurant. We had risotto, Beef tartare, some shrimp balls.
Don't get mad, get Cash
After realizing there were no birthday plans, I decided to take matters into my own hands. As I like to say, "I don't get mad, I get cash!" jajaja!I convinced Jared and Milo to spend Saturday with me at City Creek to make it up to me. We went shopping for a new iPhone and makeup, and them out to eat. For a while it felt like the family birthday outing I hoped for, and I was genuinely enjoying myself. Unfortunately, that feeling didn't last. jared's girlfriend called and invited him to a game with her kids, and he left milo and me to go meet them. Just like that, our family outing was over. I understand that we're divorced and that life is changing, but in that moment, I still thought we could share time together as family, especially on my birthday. What hurt wasn't just that he left, it was realizing that was still mattered to me didn't seem to matter the same way to him anymore.
You might also notice that there aren't as many photos of Jared and me together anymore. He has kindly let me know he would prefer not to take pictures with me unless Milo is included. I respect his wishes, though I admit it feels a little bittersweet. After 22 years of marriage, and raising our children together, it's strange to navigate a new chapter where even something as simple as a photograph has changed. I supposed this is part of learning what family looks like after divorce.
My house decoration for halloween!
Milo and I for Halloween. I was hoping for Jared to join me but again, he didn't want to have a "couples" costume. It actually was going to be a family costume. Bear was a flying monkey, I was Galinda, Milo was the thin man, and Chloe was Elphaba!
Jared looks so happy and I am so happy for him. That is what matters!
Milo was at my house with his friends. I love those kiddos!
